Creating trust and connecting to clients and prospects is an enduring and effective sales strategy. If your salespeople aren’t connecting with your clients and being viewed as trusted advisors, they’re likely to be losing business. Effective salespeople are able to move between initiating new ideas and responding to the needs of their client with agility and confidence. So how can your sales teams build trust, demonstrate confidence, and be flexible and agile at the same time? Storytelling. Storytelling is a powerful sales tool that can: Develop strong relationships Paint a clear picture of success for clients or prospects Facilitate the client making an emotional connection to your brand or service. Storytelling is a powerful tool for creating connection—neuroscience proves it! When humans listen to stories, the same areas of both the speaker’s and the lightener’s brain “light up”—even though one is producing information and the other is receiving it. This creates coherence and ensures that you and your listener are on the same page. Furthermore, when humans listen to engaging stories, our bodies release a neurochemical called oxytocin that’s associated with connectedness and trust. This boost in trust and empathy allows sales people to build stronger relationships with clients and prospects—a crucial aspect of sales.
When I was 19 years old I was madly in love with Sandra (Sandy) from afar. I eventually got the courage to ask Sandy out on a date, and to my complete amazement, she agreed. This was a high stakes situation for me and I wanted to impress. So on our first date I decided to pick her up from her parents’ home in a Mercedes Benz. No, it wasn’t my car, but belonged to the parents of my closest buddy at the time. And yes his parents were away overseas so the coast was clear. The first predicament I found myself in occurred early. Picking Sandy up from her parent’s home, her father opened the door to greet me and saw a shining red Mercedes Benz in his driveway. “Is that your car?” he asked. Being a naïve 19 year old I hadn’t considered being asked this question. How do I respond? Do I lie and say yes? Or do I show my hand as a complete fraud and fess up to the fact I borrowed it from a mate to impress Sandy and her parents? What did I do? We will come to that later. I guess I am no different to most other people who from an early age try and project themselves as something more than who and what they really are. We put on a mask to pretend to be someone or something else, perhaps to cover up our insecurities and vulnerabilities. Masks People Wear I am now older and wiser (arguably!) and I have come to learn that these masks we wear also appear in our corporate world. As a business leader, consultant and executive coach I interact with people at many levels. I frequently come across the various masks each person wears, trying to portray an image of something they may not really be. Masks that show ‘aggression’ or ‘funny’ or ‘indifference’ or ‘tough nut’ or ‘controlled’ among many others. As an example, a manager I was working with (Jamie) didn’t outwardly show his passion and excitement to his team. When we took a deeper dive as to the cause of this reluctance, we discovered he had developed a strong belief from previous managers that one should never bring emotions into work. He believed that expressing feelings undermines authority and was irrational. I’m sure you have heard people use that phrase “leave your feelings at the door”. Accordingly he had unconsciously built a persona at work as analytical and controlled, dispassionate and sometimes aloof. He took off this mask in a non-business situation. Whether with his family or friends, he was much more relaxed and where he was able to express feelings and his passion for many things. He laughed more. We came to the realisation that Jamie’s business persona – his mask – was actually holding back the engagement levels in his team. It was also causing him anxiety as he often felt constrained by this mask he chose to wear. Jamie slowly changed and discovered that by showing his real self – his sincere excitement and other emotions – made a huge difference in the climate in his team. One of Jamie’s direct reports said to me “We look to Jaimie as a gauge of how the business is tracking. Previously we didn’t think he was all that interested, but recently we are starting to see that he is backing this new product line and we are with him all the way – and probably for the first time since I’ve been working for him. The team is much more galvanised now that Jamie comes across more enthusiastic about things and that is rubbing off on all of us.” Additionally Jaime felt liberated that he had discovered a way to be his authentic self.
The leadership attributes of the likes of Steve Jobs, Arianna Huffington, Sir Richard Branson and numerous other famous business people have been sliced and diced, dissected and analysed innumerable times. While we all aspire to be like some of the greats, what can we learn from the everyday leader – these unknowns that don’t attract the attention of celebrity – who are making a significant difference in the lives of people who work for them? Let me share a personal story. Summer 2017. Ambience Mall, Gurgaon, India. A normal Saturday afternoon. My wife and I walk into a well-known retail clothing chain store. She is looking for an unusual t-shirt. One of the shop assistants sees us and approaches us as most shop assistants are programmed to do. He holds up a sign which is hanging on a lanyard around his neck, which indicates his name is Piyush and that he is deaf. He signals with his fingers that he can lip read. “This is most unusual” I think to myself as I have not experienced this in countless retail experiences. My wife says she is looking for a t-shirt, Piyush lip reads her message correctly and he walks her over to a rack of t-shirts and she selects a few to try on. She asks him where the change room is, and he shows her where. She proceeds to try on the t-shirts. As I wait for her to come out I observe something unusual. The manager of the store, who has just finished speaking to someone on the phone, starts conversing with Piyush. He is conversing in sign language and this goes on for a few minutes. They are obviously sharing something humorous as they are both laughing. The store manager is totally engrossed in the interaction. I am struck by the authenticity and goodwill that is present in this moment. The banter is broken by my wife who comes out of the change room wearing the first t-shirt. Piyush gives her the “thumbs-up” sign and asks my opinion, “looks great” I say and she goes back to try on another. Leadership Through Communication I observe the store manager who is now behind the cash register looking through some dockets. I walk up to him and we have the following exchange: Me: “I noticed that you were using sign language with your colleague.” Store Manager: “Yes sir. I was trying to sign. I am still learning.” Me: “How are you learning?” Store Manager: “I found a course through Google and I do some study and practice every evening after work.” Me: “Wow! That seems like quite an investment on your part.” Store Manager: “Well I’m learning something new.” Me: “So why do this? If Piyush can lip read, would you be able to get by without signing?” Store Manager: “Yes. We can get by and we have. But sir I want us to be able to have a two-way communication with him, not just one-way, from me to him. He is a smart guy and I want to hear his ideas and his opinions on how we can make things better in this store. I’m his manager so I also want to understand how he is doing and how I am doing as his manager.” I ask his name and he tells me it is Manick. I walk away as my wife has come out with another t-shirt, I give the second t-shirt a thumbs up and she goes back in to try on a third. As I wait, I reflect on the interaction I have just had with Manick. I continue to observe him as he goes about his work. He offers a job to an applicant who has come into the store and embraces her emotionally, not physically, as he welcomes her to the company and agrees a starting date. She is thrilled beyond words and genuinely excited. I observe him taking in everything that is going on in the store, jumping in to support his team when they are busy. I am most impressed with this guy as there is definitely an X-factor about him. In my experience with retail chains, shop assistants are generally not treated with the respect they deserve. Store managers generally don’t care about the opinions of shop assistants, nor care about how they may be doing as their manager. It is very obvious to me that Piyush enjoys working for Manick. From everything I can observe in the 15 minutes in the store, he is fully engaged as an employee and completely connected with his manager. Manick is different and I can see, hear, and feel that this X factor is his leadership and personal presence. The Pres Model In our work in Ariel Group , we have been working with leaders and professionals for over twenty five years to help them build their leadership and personal presence. We know from our experience with hundreds of thousands of leaders and professionals that presence is something that can be developed. Our purpose is to help leaders and professionals amplify their presence and show up as their very best selves. We deconstruct presence into four critical leadership skills which we call the PRES Model: Being Present: The ability to be completely in the moment, undistracted by anything past or future, sharp as a razor, and flexible enough to handle the unexpected. Reaching Out: The ability to build relationships with others through empathy, listening and authentic connection. Expressiveness: The ability to express feelings and emotions appropriately by using all available means – words/voice/face/body – to deliver one congruent message. Self-Knowing: The ability to accept yourself, to be authentic, and to reflect your values in your decisions and actions. Applying Presence To Leadership So in that moment of reflection about Manick and his presence as a leader, he ticks every one of these boxes. As an everyday leader I observe him: being Present – not pretentious Reaching Out – not looking down being Expressive – not trying to be impressive being Self-Knowing – not self-absorbed I have no doubt that with the right guidance, this young leader is destined to become someone significant affecting the lives of many. He can go far in his business and personal life if he chooses to do so. My wife comes out of the change rooms and she buys a couple of the t-shirts. I thank Manick and Piyush and ask them if I can take their picture. They are curious. I explain that I want to write a blog and I ask their permission. Manick signs something to Piyush. They both seem chuffed at the idea. They smile and agree. So here is the blog and in the photograph below, Piyush is on the left and Manick on the right. And if you are interested, the retail chain is called Being Human.
